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Devious Journal Entry

August 9th, 2009 (04:11 pm)

Draw with Me :Video:
by *Mikeinel on deviantART

We All Have SEcrets [userpic]

The Piano

March 13th, 2009 (09:13 pm)

Robby's Night

At the prodding of my friends, I am writing this story. My name is Mildred Hondorf. I am a former elementary school music teacher from Des Moines , Iowa . I've always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons-something I've done for over 30 years. Over the years I found that children have many levels of musical ability.. I've never had the pleasure of having a prodigy though I have taught some talented students.

However I've also had my share of what I call 'musically challenged' pupils. One such student was Robby. Robby was 11 years old when his mother (a single Mom) dropped him off for his first piano lesson. I prefer that students (especially boys!) begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby.

But Robby said that it had always been his mother's dream to hear him play the piano. So I took him as a student. Well, Robby began with his piano lessons and from the beginning I thought it was a hopeless endeavor. As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of tone and basic rhythm needed to excel but he dutifully reviewed his scales and some elementary pieces that I require all my students to learn.

Over the months he tried and tried while I listened and cringed and tried to encourage him. At the end of each weekly lesson he'd always say, 'My mom's going to hear me play someday. But it seemed hopeless. He just did not have any inborn ability. I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved and smiled but never stopped in.

Then one day Robby stopped coming to our lessons.

I thought about calling him but assumed because of his lack of ability, that he had decided to pursue something else. I also was glad that he stopped coming. He was a bad advertisement for my teaching!

Several weeks later I mailed to the student's homes a flyer on the upcoming recital.. To my surprise Robby (who received a flyer) asked me if he could be in the recital. I told him that the recital was for current pupils and because he had dropped out he really did not qualify. He said that his mother had been sick and unable to take him to piano lessons but he was still practicing 'Miss Hondorf, I've just got to play!' he insisted.

I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the recital. Maybe it was his persistence or maybe it was something inside of me saying that it would be all right. The night for the recital came The high school gymnasium was packed with parents, friends and relatives. I put Robby up last in the program before I was to come up and thank all the students and play a finishing piece. I thought that any damage he would do would come at the end of the program and I could always salvage his poor performance through my 'curtain closer.'

Well, the recital went off without a hitch. The students had been practicing and it showed then Robby came up on stage.. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair looked like he'd run an eggbeater through it. 'Why didn't he dress up like the other students?' I thought. 'Why didn't his mother at least make him comb his hair for this special night?'

Robby pulled out the piano bench and he began. I was surprised when he announced that he had chosen Mozart's Concerto #21 in C Major. I was not prepared for what I heard next. His fingers were light on the keys, they even danced nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo. From allegro to virtuoso. His suspended chords that Mozart demands were magnificent! Never had I heard Mozart played so well by people his age. After six and a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo and everyone was on their feet in wild applause.

Overcome and in tears I ran up on stage and put my arms around Robby in joy. 'I've never heard you play like that Robby! How'd you do it? '

Through the microphone Robby explained: 'Well, Miss Hondorf, Remember I told you my Mom was sick? Well, actually she had cancer and passed away this morning and well. .. She was born deaf so tonight was the first time she ever heard me play. I wanted to make it special.'

There wasn't a dry eye in the house that evening. As the people from Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed into foster care, noticed that even their eyes were red and puffy and I thought to myself how much richer my life had been for taking Robby as my pupil.

No, I've never had a prodigy but that night I became a prodigy . . .. Of Robby's. He was the teacher and I was the pupil for it is he that taught me the meaning of perseverance and love and believing in yourself and maybe even taking a chance in someone and you don't know why.

Robby was killed in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City in April of 1995.

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Turning a year older but necessarily wiser

December 18th, 2008 (01:55 pm)

Bombasting at : room
Frame of mind: apathetic
My heroin: Flowers’ by Sweet Female Attitude

Turning a year older but necessarily wiser , .. _GG
I wanted to learn how to play drumsssssss! and dammit im turning 20 and yet im still trapped with
the D-A-G-A chords of the guitar  , I wanted to Play drums i wanted  to hear the rhythm and  feel the beat swaying through my heartbeats hay.. i remember
my excitement when i first touch that little drumstick for 30 seconds ! yes 30 just seconds , pathetic
get Lost ayee.. parang drumstick lang ...  i want it so bad
but no one seems to hear me hellooo ? Well someone promised me , but he flew away with the Kardashians
haha .. I also  wanted to learn how to swim , it seems odd but im just to scared , there might be sharks on
the pool you'll never know .. hehehe Well , as i was saying it was one of the reasons why im blogging
i wanted to accomplish something before i reached that ripe old age .. sheeesh .. so here ...
i hate the fact that im leaving the TEENy bopper years  , and it was so sad .. i had to move
forward to be able to move on .. I havent much enjoyed my teenage life , I  grew up so fast that
its too late for me turn back .. I hate resentments just so you know .. I'm not living my life to the fullest, not even close Everyone is living their dream and I'm still living in the same dying world i have . Life is so short and you can never know what can happen. I was too afraid to risk , or too scared for the trade off, if you win some you lose some i failed everyone before so im afraid to try it again (naman kasi ee!..)
"you can never have the best of both worlds life is never fair ".. ;)
But i think, i really think  im mature enough?! to have the consequences , if given the opportunity ..
I guess i have some potentials or talents maybe ? But being stuck here wont help me find that..Same old shitt ..
.Im tired of the same old things same routines and same old people . I  just wanted something new in my life. I need to be around people with the same interests as I do. Dont get me wrong okay i love everyone , I just want to live my life the way i wanted it to be .. We are all getting older (nandamay pa haha) i want to achieve something and so  Reality bites me .. ack! and it hurts..
I know i had so many things to be thankful for in my life and  i appreciate that and i treasured it soOo much *kisses*, but sometimes its still not enough we have to seek more to learn ,to become better to prove something.. But contrary to that im not going anywhere ..
"Treat people the way you wanted to be treated even if they dont deserve it - Ayoko nito ampeeer!!! non sequitur !
I envy people who are undeniably outgrow their fears and outcasted their talents and on their way on achieving their dreams,
Well, Achievers were praised indiscriminately and I couldn't wait to bask in my fifteen seconds of fame. Well, who doesn't?
 i guess i need to  look at success in a different perspective. 
Candidly speaking we all love  being the envy of everyone  and an inspiration to others, this could not be more fulfilling.. isnt it ?

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Bitter Reality..

September 13th, 2008 (07:53 pm)

I was on my way home back to Cavite .. may nakatabi akong bata ,, well i was actually wondering what the hell does a 10 years old girl doing in a bus all by herself  at 6am?..  She's a bit worried i guess .. Naawa ako sa bata i remember my sis .. (pakibalik na ung headset ko puede?) Anyway , i wanted to talk to her ,, but i was like hesitant kasi hiya ako eh haha ..

Then Finally i had the guts to ask her na .. di talaga mapigil Usi kasi ako .. she said naglayas daw siya pupunta daw siya sa daddy niya sa Munti .. Muntinlupa ayaw ko samin.. Gad, i mean ang bata niya for those things .. she was about to cry while i was asking ayaw na daw nia dun sa kanila i was stunned at the moment alam niya ung sinasabi you can feel the pain while i was looking at her gad naiiyak nako nun ..wala man lang ako nasabi na advice i just listened to her  .. i asked her na ihahatid ko na lang siya .. I should have insisted ,, i dont even ask kung nakakain na siya or if may pamasahe pa siya .. I was about to cry na rin when i stepped out of the bus muka akong tanga later ko na realize i should have really done something but wala akong ginawa wla talga akong kwenta kahit kelan haiy ..

i just told her to take care and prayed that God would guide her ,.. I was so bothered..

I should have done something , dapat naging mapilit ako .. you know how cruel the streets are sabi niya sanay na daw siya pumunta dun .. Pero kahit na .. ako nga College lang natuto magCommute at maligaw ..

And thats how Life is Life is unfair .. very unfair .. Paksheet ..  just be thankful of what we have bilib ako sa bata ang lakas ng loob .. Okay She want Barbies, Polly Pocket yes but thats not her priority .. 

she wanted someone to take care of her someone who would be worried about her , someone who'll find her when shes gone .. ang bata pa niya para sa ganung responsibilidad.. Naiinis tlga ako dahil wala akong nagawa .. I wonder where she is right know i hope shes with her Dad already , sheeet .. i feel so damn so guilty about that child ..


God please take care of her and hope that she'll finds her family ..

Most people dont mind it .. because "i have everything why should be worried about other people , i wonder what im going to wear tonight at the bar   " FCUK..

While people like her strive so hard at an early age she doesnt deserve it she should be at school or at least have a breafast with her Family .. And not encountering bullshits already without guidance ... Cruel world .. LIFE isnt FAIR ..


We All Have SEcrets [userpic]

The Dog and His wife... ;(

June 25th, 2008 (01:54 pm)

Frame of mind: crushed

Hey, wake up! wake up!

A dog was knocked down by a car and died on the middle of the road. Later, this dog is
seen beside the corpse of the dog, he tried to wake his wife up using his leg

 Let's move to the safer side of the road...i will move you to the safer side!

Anyone help, tell me what to do.

Though the traffic is busy and dangerous, he just will not go away from his wife.

Just stand beside his wife howling and crying.

When his attempts to wake his wife failed, he tried to push his wife to the side of the street

 A  lot of people saw this incident and feel very touched.

         How even a dog can show his loyalty and love to his wife
      road. But the weight of his wife was proven too heavy for him

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10 years.....

May 28th, 2008 (02:11 pm)

Frame of mind: amused

 I feel obliged to share them with other people, because its really good. It’s such a waste to keep them to myself..

This is a true story that happened in Japan.
In order to renovate the house, someone in Japanbreaks open the wall.
Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls, he found that
there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet. He sees this, feels pity, and at
the same time curious, as when he checked the nail, it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was! first built.

What happened?

The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years! In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible
and mind-boggling. Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years! without moving a single step–since its foot
was nailed!

So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it has been doing, and what and how it has been eating. Later, not
knowing from where it came appears another lizard, with food in its mouth. Ah! He was stunned and touched deeply. For the lizard that was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the past 10 years…

Imagine? it has been doing that untiringly for 10 long years, without giving up hope on its partner.

Think, will u do that to your partner?

Think that will you do it to your Mom,

Who brought you after a big struggle of Nine long months ?

Or at least to your Dad, Friends, Co-workers, brothers and Sisters?

Imagine what a small creature can do that a creature blessed with a brilliant mind can't.

As information and communication technology advances, our access to information becomes faster and faster. But the distance between human beings . . . is it getting closer as well?

….Please never abandon your loved ones

We All Have SEcrets [userpic]


May 8th, 2008 (03:32 pm)

Frame of mind: blank

Happy mothers day mom ! i was soo touched by this story , thanks for everything !

This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn't enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion of rice.. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say 'Eat this rice, son! I'm not hungry.’
This was Mother's First Lie
As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a little bit more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish, she would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten; my heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the other fish to her on my chopstick but she immediately refused it and said, 'Eat this fish, son! I don't really like fish.
This was Mother's Second Lie.
Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to bring home some used matchboxes which she filled with fresh matchsticks. This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said, 'Mother, go to sleep; it's late: you can continue working tomorrow morning.' Mother smiled and said 'Go to sleep, son! I'm not tired.
This was Mother's Third Lie
When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the bell rang, I ran to meet her. Mother embraced me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as strong as my Mother's love, Seeing Mother covered with perspiration; I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said 'Drink, son! I'm not thirsty.
This was Mother's Fourth Lie.
After Father's death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent. She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our family's life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing our family's condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near my house came to help us solve our problems big and small. Our other neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often advised my mother to marry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying 'I don't need love.
This was Mother's Fifth Lie.
After I had finished my studies and gotten a job, it was time for my old Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morning just to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said, 'I have enough money.
That was Mother's Sixth Lie.
I continued my part-time studies for my Master's Degree. Funded by the American Corporation for which I worked, I succeeded in my studies. With a big jump in my salary, I decided to bring Mother to enjoy life in America but Mother didn't want to bother her son; she said to me 'I'm not used to high living.
That was Mother's Seventh Lie
In her dotage, Mother was attacked by cancer and had to be hospitalized. Now living far across the ocean, I went home to visit Mother who was bedridden after an operation. Mother tried to smile but I was heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said, 'Don't cry, son! I'm not in pain.'
That was Mother's Eighth Lie.
Telling me this, her eighth lie, she died.. YES, MOTHER WAS AN ANGEL!
M - O - T - H - E - R
'M' is for the Million things she gave me,
'O' means Only that she's growing old,
'T' is for the Tears she shed to save me,
'H' is for her Heart of gold,
'E' is for her Eyes with love-light shining in them,
'R' means Right, and right she'll always be,
Put them all together, they spell 'MOTHER' a word that means the world to me.
For those of you who are lucky to be still blessed with your Mom's presence on Earth, this story is beautiful.
For those who aren't so blessed, this is even more beautiful.

" True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The great blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not " 

We All Have SEcrets [userpic]

i know okay ?

April 9th, 2008 (04:56 am)

.. in this dog-eat-dog world your personality defines who you are ..

 ..its not easy for people to know me because my behavior

        is unpredictable and always intriguing, The people i love find it challenging to get to know the real me.. while people i just meet might find it too difficult to figure me out

.. stay away from disgraceful, distasteful ,doubtful,

" I promise " syndrome ..!

      ..... i dont really picture myself as an individual, instead i define myself

                according to the people that surrounds me, that doesnt sounds good..

                                      Blaise Pascal wont like that ..talking about individuality!

                                                   "Blaise Pascal:
 We are all something, but none of us are everything..(okay!)

.. ..AND to crush on your friends super not available boyfriend? (super no! no!) its another thing to turn into a lowdown dirrrtty cruel intention prada wearing devil nyaha..!

.. discover a side of yourself you never knew existed..

We All Have SEcrets [userpic]

Im Sorry..

March 23rd, 2008 (07:42 am)

i really dont meant it ...


              its so pathetic .. ..

i just want you to know me better ,,


soory nah..


                     im more afraid of “screwing things up”



Does it mean that i needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let him know how i felt?




i've created a NEGATIVE TENSION that can be VERY uncomfortable.naman kasi ..

We All Have SEcrets [userpic]

everLasting Love.. sOoo inspiring.. ;)

March 15th, 2008 (02:31 pm)

Frame of mind: hopeful

                      Each year he sent her roses,

                      and the note would always say,

                      I love you even more this year,

                      than last year on this day.

                      My love for you will always grow,

                      with every passing year."

                      She knew this was the last time

                      that the roses would appear.

                      She thought, he ordered roses

                      in advance before this day.

                      Her loving husband did not know,

                      that he would pass away.

                      He always liked to do things early,

                      way before the time.

                      Then, if he got too busy,

                      everything would work out fine.

                      She trimmed the stems and

                      placed them in a very special vase.

                      Then, sat the vase beside

                      the portrait of his smiling face.

                      She would sit for hours,

                      In her husband's favorite chair.

                      While staring at his picture,

                      and the roses sitting there.

                      A year went by, and it was

                      to live without her mate.

                      With loneliness and solitude,

                      that had become her fate.

                      Then, the very hour,

                      as on Valentines before,

                      The doorbell rang, and there

                      were roses sitting by her door.

                      She brought the roses in,

                      and then just looked at them in shock.

                      Then, went to get the telephone,

                       to call the florist shop.

                      The owner answered, and she asked him,

                      if he would explain,

                      Why would someone do this to her,

                      causing her such pain?

                      "I know your husband passed away,

                      more than a year ago,"

                      The owner said, "I knew you'd call,

                      and you would want to know.

                      The flowers you received today,

                      were paid for in advance.

                     Your husband always planned ahead,

                      he left nothing to chance.

                      There is a standing order,

                      that I have on file down here,

                      And he has paid, well in advance,

                      you'll get them every year.

                      There also is another thing,

                      that I think you should know,

                      He wrote a special little card...

                      he did this years ago.

                       Then, should ever I find out

                      that he's no longer here,

                      that's the card that should be sent

                      to you the following year."

                      She thanked him and hung up the phone,

                      her tears now flowing hard.

                      Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached

                      To get the card.

                      Inside the card, she saw that

                      he had written her a note.

                      Then, as she stared in total silence,

                       this is what he wrote...

                      "Hello my love, I know it's been a year

                      since I've been gone.

                      I hope it hasn't been too hard

                      for you to overcome.

                      I know it must be lonely,

                      and the pain is very real.

                      Or if it was the other way,

                      I know how I would feel.

                      The love we shared made everything

                      so beautiful in life.

                      I loved you more than words can say,

                      you were the perfect wife.

                      You were my friend and lover,

                      you fulfilled my every need.

                      I know it's only been a year,

                      but please try not to grieve.

                      I want you to be happy,

                      even when you shed your tears.

                      That is why the roses

                      will be sent to you for years.

                      When you get these roses,

                      think of all the happiness,

                      That we had together,

                      and how both of us were blessed.

                      I have always loved you

                      and I know I always will.

                      But, my love, you must go on,

                      you have some living still.

                      Please...try to find happiness,

                      while living out your days.

                       I know it is not easy,

                      but I hope you find some ways.

                      The roses will come every year,

                      and they will only stop,

                     When your door's not answered,

                      when the florist stops to knock.

                      He will come five times that day,

                      in case you have gone out.

                      But after his last visit,

                      he will know without a doubt

                      To take the roses to the place,

                      where I've instructed him.

                      and place the roses where we are,

                      together once again.

                      Sometimes in life,

                      you find a special friend;

                      Someone who changes your life

                      just by being part of it.

                      Someone who makes you laugh

                      until you can't stop;

                      Someone who makes you believe

                      that there really is good in the world.

                      Someone who convinces you that there really is

                     an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.

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